Making friends in Marbella

We have just moved to Spain from France and I am really unsure if we have made the right decision. We have really not found any friends or met anyone with whom we have a lot in common and are struggling also to know where to base ourselves. We had many friends in France and I'm sure we can find similar here in Marbella, but so far, everyone we have met is so different from us and all the areas I have looked at are so over-developed.

We are a family with 3 girls (6, 8 and 10) who are all very creative and not really into electronic toys or mobile phones. We are mainly vegetarian and my business is in organic raw food and alternative health products, so I guess pretty way out from most.

I run my own business from home (I help producers of organic and raw food, plus alternative health solutions to grow their business and reach my wholesaler contacts throughout Europe). My husband works in London and is based at home every other week.

We are both university educated and like to chat about cerebal things occasionally although are more than happy to have a light hearted laugh most of the time.... I just need someone to talk to about more than just the weather/holidays/children without lots of swearing and smoking (which is sadly what I'm getting at the moment!)

The girls have started school here and we cannot find anywhere nearby that we like - it all seems so crowded and rushed and we are craving the open space and countryside that we left behind in Annecy (I wonder if this exists in Marbella?)

I realise that we are not an entirely conventional family (despite looking completely normal!) but I wonder if you think we will find friends like us here or if we maybe should look elsewhere? Thank you for whatever help you can give!




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Making friends in Marbella

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Jan 19, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you!
by: Sarah

I just wanted to reiterate my appreciation and thanks for all your lovely comments. Life has improved since we arrived, there is no doubt! The girls are happy at school and I like the sunshine and that it's so cheap to heat our house now! We have made friends with 2 families nearby which is lovely too. I am still not sure that this is the right place for us to be - I have such a strong calling back to France somehow... but no decisions are being made until the end of the school year as I think it fair to try a full year in one school first. In the meantime, my raw food business is going really well and it's enabled me to make friends all over Europe. I am truly grateful for the experience we have and am glad we came down - every new country teaches you a new perspective and helps understand the people who live here better, which I value very much. Thank you for your support during this journey! Sarah x
Jan 19, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		How things travel!
by: Mona

Hi! I realize that is is over a year since you posted this, but it was just shared on the group Costa Woman by Zora and I have a feeling I was supposed to see it.

My name is Mona and I have lived here on the coast for 8 years now, it took me a while to settle, but with having three kids (6 soon to be 7 (boy), 8 (girl) and 10 (soon to be 11 (girl)) and doing activities with them has helped me. I now have a large network here, and I am very happy!

My family and I live on a finca just outside Fuengirola, we have lots of space and we are starting this year giving classes in kickboxing aerobics, yoga and curcuit training. We also do lots of seminars and workshops, and only last weekend we did a raw food-workshop! This was my first time trying raw food and I was blown away!!!

It would be great to meet you and have a chat. My husband and I want to make our finca into a place of health and wellbeing, and exercise and nutrition play a big part for us. My husband wants to make permaculture gardens and fruit forrests here, and we are just getting started now!

You can contact me if you want to meet at mona@familysiesta.no, or if you are coming to the Costa Women meeting on the 26th of January, maybe I'll see you there.

Mona :-)
Oct 28, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Hello Mindi
by: Ali Meehan

Sorry to hear that you haven't made many friends here. Please feel free to come and join us at Costa Women - we have over 400 women members in Spain; the majority in the Marbella and Fuengirola area. Lots of events and get togethers happen during the month and membership is free as are some of the events!
Here's the website address http://costawomen.ning.com/ We are also on facebook/costawomen and Twitter @costawomen too if you want to find us there as well.
Big hug and keep going - we are all routing for you now we know you are out there!
Ali
Oct 27, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		making friends
by: Mindi

hi there,

i moved down to marbella 4 years ago from malaysia. so i really know what you are talking. its totally a diffrent culture for me. but till today i am still strugling to make friends here, maybe probably i dont speak fluent english, not sure. i am always home with my kids doing just the same routine everyday. getting depress at times. hope to make some new friends here.
Jan 20, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Heads up
by: Omaya

Hi Sarah,

reading this whole thread is heart warming and does show how much people around the costa do go towards others.
It does take some time in the begining, but as Zora said, you meet one person, the her friends and sooner than you would think you'll have a whole circle of friends.
I moved down here 2 years ago, from Geneva Switzerland, so I really know what you are talking about when it comes to nice scenery. But I discovered that you can find amazingly beautiful places down here only minutes from the crowd and concrete. I love rock climbing and thought I would never find anything equal here, not only did I do, but it made me discover amazingly beautiful landscapes. Whether you like biking, hiking or walking, they are groups that you can join and they will take you to discover unknown areas.
I also have three kids, and work from home. But since I have customers all around the coast, I got to meet new people very easily and some of them became real friends.
What really does work too is joining social networks, not only will it benefit your business, but you will get to meet tons of interesting people, Costa Women is one of them, and there are many other ones where I've met great people.
Hope this helps, you can contact me on the Costa women network if you want :-)
Courrage!
O.
Jan 20, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Marbella
by: Debbie

Hi Sarah

A big welcome to you.

We have lived here in Spain for 5 years and it also took us a while to feel at home. We met many peoole who enjoyed the drinking side of things with the constant ´holiday crowd´ but it really was not our thing.

I joined a few different groups to see if we could meet like minded individuals which was a slow process but did pay off. I recall one such event when we had been in place for 6 months, one of the ladies said she would only be interested in getting to know me once I had been here fore 2 years and earned by stripes!!!! Took the wind out of my sails and we have vowed never to take that approach with others.

As we do not have children we really did need to work at meeting other people. One of the most successful ways I found was registering at a language school. I got to meet and know some wonderful people and in turn meet some of their friends and colleagues.

Don´t give up. It truly is a wonderful place to live and there are many areas of natural beauty in less build up areas. Each day we learn and see new things. This just adds to the experience and whilst some things frustrate one day, the next day you will realise truly how amazing this part of Spain really is.

If you need information, help or even an ear feel free to drop me an email via our facebook page bennett property marbella.

Good luck
Debbie
Jan 20, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Finding friends
by: Sarah Spencer

Hi fellow Sarah,
Ali from Costa Women mentioned that you were new to the area and were having trouble settling and finding friends. She also mentioned that you lived near Torreguadiaro. Where are you exactly? My husband and I lived in Jimena de la Frontera for almost three years and we really liked it. If its open space that you're craving then there's plenty there - a little too much for us. We're now in a small urbanisation which feels very quiet and surrounded by countryside (Las Garzas in Bahia las Rocas). Its next to Torreguadiaro and close to the port in Sotogrande.

I would love to meet up and have a natter over a coffee or smoothie sometime! We don't have kids (2 dog and 2 cats instead!) but my sister and her three kids (age 2, 10 and 11) live in Gibraltar and they are fabulous. It would be perhaps nice for the kids to meet too. Her husband is a finance director in Gib and is away a lot as well.

I agree that when you move abroad your friends become your rocks and they are essential, especially the girls! We haven't really made many friends here either but we also work hard (I also run my own business from home) and if we're not working or walking our dogs, we're trying to just catch up with each other. Its true, it takes time, but there are some great people out there to get to know. I'll be going to the TweetMarbella gathering on 2nd Feb and you can see details of that here http://twtvite.com/tweetmarbella-feb2011/1 and via @nicchick on Twitter.

To get in touch with me you can do so on facebook via my business facebook page (only because my name's too common to be easily found!) www.facebook.com/geminicourses or via my website www.geminicourses.com
Hope to meet you soon and good luck with everything!
Sarah
Jan 20, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Costa Women
by: Ali Meehan

Hello Sarah
Welcome to Spain!
I think we all feel as you do currently when we first arrived here. Personally I was very unhappy for a long time and really missed my girl friends back in the UK. However, after 8 years (a lot of it spent in Dubai and Thailand) I am back and adore the place and its definitely home!
In fact since we have been back I have set up a group called Costa Women which is precisely for women who are expats in Spain to get together, find like minded people and garner support.
We have an event on this evening in Calahonda at The Loft. The details are on facebook http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=130566170339970 We also have a facebook fan page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Costa-Women/160884577271342 Do come and join us this evening if you can, or join the group - you really don't have to be alone!
Big hug
Ali x (alicontax@gmail.com)
Jan 19, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you
by: Sarah (who wrote the original letter!)

Hello Inma and Z, thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. Inma, you are so right in trying not to compare one place with another and merely seeing the good in the current. Funnily enough I did this yesterday before I even read your comment and, on the way home from school, my head was drawn to the beauty of the mountains, and not the concrete buildings near the coast!

I don't really know how to make contact through here but if you to to my site www.bluefishenergetics.com there is form to email me - it would be lovely to get in touch!

Thank you!
Jan 18, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Marbella is different
by: Inma

I came to Marbella from Madrid 5 years ago, and eventhough it was really hard at the begining I just met a friend who introduced me to her group of friends and was as easy as that. Eventhough that doesn't mean that I get on with all her friends and not all of us share the same hobbies, ways of life or look at things the same way.

However, one of the things I needed to do was to stop comparing between Madrid and Marbella, and I think that if you are able to stop comparing between the place you used to live and where you are living now, it will help you. You need to open your eyes and try to find the "bright" side of Marbella: Nice beach promenades, to be in the centre of Andalucia ( you can go to Granada where you can ski and admire the nature or to Seville to taste a bit of the "andalusian" culture...etc..) , the multicultural aspect of its inhabitants..etc...

I am not vegetarian,I don't smoke and don't swear , don't have children ( eventhough I like them , so I can't talk much about them), and have a degree in Tourism. I am Spanish,used to speak french better that English but not any more.. as my boyfriend is English and we talk in English all the time. If you need someone to talk to, maybe i can be one of the many friends I am sure you are going to find in Marbella.


Jan 18, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Settling in Marbella part I
by: Marbella Family

I have moved many times in my lifetime and I totally understand how you feel. The good news is that, YES!, you will find friends who have the same interest as you. Being that your husband is away most of the time, friends are absolutely crucial. In my experience, I feel I need a good six months to a year to feel settled in a place and start making friends. Unfortunately, good friends takes a while. Relationships need time to develop and they develop with experiences together. So, be patient, you will find people with the same interest soon...but you must be active. Why not join a gym, or attend a health seminar, or get your kids involved with an after-school activity with the local Spanish community?
Jan 18, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Settling in Marbella part II
by: Marbella Family

It may feel like you are meeting the same type of person over and over again, and that may partly be due to the fact that are not expanding your horizons. Meeting other parents through school is the first and easiest way to make friends. However, if you´re not really bonding with any of the parents at school you´ll have to search elsewhere.

My first recommendation to you is to learn Spanish. We are a multicultural family. My husband is French and I am American. We´ve lived in Russia and are now based in Spain. So we´ve got quite a lot of languages under our belt. Learning a language is the first thing I do when I move to a new country. It opens many doors and the pool of friends that you can make is so much wider. The good thing is that Spanish people are extremely open and friendly, so you won´t have any problem approaching them.

One of the reasons why we decided to move to Marbella is the fact that it is so multicultural, so we knew we would fit right in. As your children are attending a British school it may seem that Marbella is a "Little UK". True, there are a high number of British people living in Marbella and the Costa del Sol, however, when you look around you see plenty of pockets of other groups (in addition to all the Spaniards! :) ). Humans are creatures of habit and love to socialize in their own language. The Russians stick with Russians, the French with the French. Once you meet one French person, a whole other group of people open up to you. The same goes for interests. As you are into a healthy lifestyle and alternative health products you will likely run into someone who has the same interest and they will also have a group of friends right behind them who are just like them.

Marbella is a mix of cultures and lifestyles. You have the jet-set Marbella, the family friendly Marbella, the eco-friendly Marbella and plenty of others. I love Marbella for having this mixture. It´s cosmopolitan yet if you look outside your back door you will find a whole world of nature and beautiful vistas. It´s really the best of both worlds.

Don´t fret. The most important thing is to stay positive, patient, get involved (or have your kids get involved) with other social circles through clubs, sports, gyms, health seminars, whatever your interests may be, and keep your eyes peeled. Marbella has it all, you just need to sometimes look a little harder for what you want.

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